University of Montana Training Business Executives for the 21st Century

by William Skink

While the University of Montana uses its budget woes to attack the humanities, the business program continues to expand with a brand new building in which to train executives, as reported by Missoula Current:

Notable alumni joined the University of Montana in commencing a new campus building on Thursday, one that’s expected to prepare future leaders for the world’s challenges and serve as a beacon for executive training.

UM President Royce Engstrom joined Priscilla and Harold Gilkey in cutting the ribbon to the new 31,000 square-foot facility, which now bears the Gilkey name and anchors the School of Business Administration and its growing footprint on campus.

“UM is focused on cultivating leaders who will thrive in the global 21st century,” said Engstrom. “Our executive education program will help business leaders build strong organizations and support economic vitality.”

How exciting! Here are some classes I hope the University of Montana offers executives to prepare them for the 21st century.

Stock Buy-Backs 101

Learn how to take advantage of zero-interest cash printed by the Fed to increase value for shareholders.

Golden Parachute Seminar

When short-term profits evaporate and your corporate house of cards collapses, this seminar will give you the skills to protect yourself while everyone else suffers the consequences.

Corporate Inversion 201

Worried your company’s taxes will be sucked up by useless eaters? This class will show you how to use a country’s low-tax status (like Ireland) to avoid paying pesky taxes.

Lobbying the 21st century

Money is influence (and also speech, wink-wink), so this class will be indispensable for any aspiring business executive. Learn the many creative ways in which lobbyists are deployed to influence politicians for sale (and they are all for sale)

National Sovereignty; a history

A nation’s sovereignty is so 20th century. For the 21st century executive, once the free trade agreements are in place, corporate interests will finally supersede national sovereignty.

Tax Shelters 101

Does the release of the Panama Papers worry you? Worry no longer, business executive. This class helps track new developments in wealth protection as old tax shelters become obsolete.

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About William Skink

I'm a poet and political cynic living and writing in Montana. You can contact me here: willskink at yahoo dot com
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One Response to University of Montana Training Business Executives for the 21st Century

  1. Big Swede says:

    Ms. Sanders must have taken the Golden Parachute Seminar.

    “unable to recover from “the crushing weight of the debt” incurred under Jane O’Meara Sanders, the college’s former president and wife of Bernie Sanders.
    At the end of 2010, Ms. Sanders took out $10 million in loans on behalf of Burlington College to purchase a 32-acre swathe of land from the Roman Catholic diocese, which put the land up for sale to help cover the costs of a $17 million sexual-abuse settlement.

    As Heat Street reported last month, the college almost immediately fell short on its financial obligations as fundraising pledges and commitments Ms. Sanders cited in the loan agreements never materialized.

    Less than a year after leading Burlington College into massive debt, Ms. Sanders resigned, taking with her a $200,000 severance package.”-Jillian Melchjor.

    Like

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